The Complete Guide to Pegging

Posted by Anna Bergeron on

If you were to ask us what our favorite sexual act or scenario to educate our curious customers about is, you would likely receive a single near-unanimous answer: pegging.

Why pegging, you ask?

Well, first off, we feel that it's a type of sexual play which has been unfairly stigmatized - even recently as our society gradually grows more open and comfortable in our sexuality - due to general misconceptions about "ass play" (or, more colloquially, "butt stuff").

Second, we feel that pegging isn't just fun and pleasurable - it can also be an extremely empowering experience for all involved due to playing around with and even subverting "traditional" gender roles in the bedroom.

Lastly, of course, we're always game for any type of sexual play which is flexible and versatile, allowing for the incorporation of many different positions, methods of stimulation and even types of orgasm.

Pegging is nearly unequaled in that regard, with so many amazing ways it can be used to bring pleasure to you and your partner.

So if we haven't yet convinced you just how fulfilling adding the occasional pegging session to your bedroom routine can be, then just read on, my friend - there's much more to learn!

This informative guide will introduce you to the basics of pegging, including how to prepare for a session, some example positions to get you started, and - of course - little tips and tricks to make it as pleasurable as possible for both the pegger and the individual being pegged.

Like every sexual act, pegging isn't necessarily going to be for everyone - and you absolutely should not feel ashamed or upset with yourself or your partner if it turns out not to be your particular cup of kink-flavored tea.

However, if you think it might be your type of thing, or if it's something your partner has expressed interest in and you want to learn more, or you're simply generally interested in educating yourself about the fascinating world of kinky sex, whether or not you plan to add any of it to your repertoire, then keep reading, because this guide was written for you!

​What is Pegging?

Let's start with a basic definition. In general, the term "pegging" is used to refer to a sexual act in which one person wears a toy called a "strap-on" and uses it to penetrate another.

While pegging activities are most commonly associated with anal penetration, this is not an exclusive definitions - strap-ons can just as easily (and pleasurably!) be used to penetrate the vagina or even the mouth for simulated oral sex.

The act received its name thanks to noted sex columnist Dan Savage, whose feature "Savage Love" hosted a contest in which readers could submit and vote on various names - "pegging" squeaked out a narrow victory over second place finisher "Bend Over, Boyfriend".

The definition of pegging is also not limited by the genders or sexual orientations of the participating individuals.

While many might associate pegging with the scenario in which a woman anally penetrates her male partner, both male and female homosexual couples can also engage in pegging.

Similarly, many transgender men in a wide range of relationships enjoy pegging activities, as do cisgender heterosexual men who are suffering from erectile dysfunction or recovering from an illness, injury or other condition which limits the function of the penis.

​Why Pegging?

Pegging is an act which has become extremely popular among both practitioners of penetration and devotees of the derriere.

First off, it provides a new, unique way of penetrating your partner, one which comes with a staggering array of options compared to simply sticking with "normal" flesh penises.

Sure, sometimes traditional missionary-position sex with a penis is great, but what if you're occasionally also in the mood for getting your ass or pussy pounded by a ten-inch purple dildo, or perhaps a glittery gold one with a neat curved tip, or maybe even a sparkling rainbow one which vibrates as it thrusts in and out of your deepest core?

When it comes to experimentation and variety, practically no other sexual act offers as many vastly different options as pegging does.

As we mentioned earlier, pegging doesn't necessarily have to involve the ass - but it often does, and fans of playing around with their partner's plump booty have often found themselves getting a lot of enjoyment out of the act.

Pegging allows absolutely anyone to penetrate anyone else's ass - as long as they consent, of course! - regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Not to mention, you can do it with a dildo which specifically focuses on stimulating the prostate or stretching out the walls of the anus (similar to a butt plug - head over to that section of our site to learn more!).

If you and your partner just can't get enough of each other's rear ends, but are ready to move past slapping and fingering to something a little bit more extreme - or, rather, extremely pleasurable - then give pegging a try!

Lastly, as was briefly discussed in the previous section of this article, pegging is an act which is often enjoyed by those who like experimenting with gender roles and can also be powerfully affirming for transgender, nonbinary or other gender nonconforming individuals.

In particular, transgender individuals often favor pegging over simply using an unattached dildo to penetrate their partner, as it allows them to wear the simulated penis and thus feel that it is "their" penis and more truly a part of their genuine body.

Similar feelings of empowerment and affirmation may be experienced by men who suffer from erectile dysfunction or injury, as pegging allows them to regain the ability to engage in penetrative sexual activities with their partner even during the process of treatment and recovery.

Overall, pegging is an act which can appeal to a lot of different couples and individuals for a wide variety of different reasons, all equally valid. And, like all forms of sexual play both "kinky" and "vanilla," it is simply a fantastically intimate way to bond with your partner and get closer to one another in the bedroom.

We fully believe that a healthy sex life involves exploration, honesty and the willingness to try new things, whether or not they end up working out for you in the long term or just being a bit of temporary experimentation.

Pegging is fun, intimate, pleasurable and a great way to both give and get a leg-shaking, earth-shattering orgasm!

​Tools Of The Trade: The Strap-On

If you want to peg your partner - or be pegged by them - the first thing you need to do is get your hands on a clever, unique little apparatus referred to as the "strap-on".

It typically consists of a dildo attached to a leather, fabric or nylon harness, which is worn on the body so that the dildo sits approximately in the same location as a flesh and blood penis would.

The harness or "straps" from which the toy gets its name allows the wearer to penetrate their partner with the dildo using only the movements of their body - in particular, the rocking and thrusting of their hips - rather than needing to manipulate it with their hands as with non-attached, non-harnessed dildos.

For this reason, the strap-on is often considered to be the toy which most closely simulates "traditional" non-toy assisted sexual intercourse.

Like most sex toys, strap-ons are extremely versatile, and are available in an ever increasing array of styles, shapes, colors and sizes.

In particular, a strap-on allows for extra variety because you can choose both the style and design of the harness and the size, shape and texture of the dildo which attaches to it.

Nowadays, many harnesses are intentionally designed in a very flexible manner which allows various dildos to be switched in and out, meaning that you can have a different pegging experience each time you strap yourself into your harness!

Our site features a number of guides which discuss in greater detail the wide range of strap-ons available for purchase and offer tips about how to choose one (or several!) for you and your partner.

In particular, we suggest checking out our intro to harness styles here and our guide to choosing a dildo to fit your harness right over here. In addition, we are also pleased to offer a brand new guide which specifically focuses on pegging and which types of strap-ons work best for this particular act.

However, before we continue with this article, we will briefly highlight some of the most common elements of strap-on design.

Harnesses are typically divided into "strappy" styles, which attach to the waist and upper thighs with thick straps made from leather or nylon, or "lingerie" styles which are made from softer fabrics and resemble a standard pair of underwear with a hole in the front for dildo insertion.

More adventurous variations include "strapless strap-ons" (click here to learn more) which are held in the vagina or anus using the wearer's own muscles rather than external straps, harnesses designed to be attached to objects (such as walls, chairs, or exercise balls) and harnesses which are meant to attach to other areas of the body such as the face or upper thighs.

Dildos come in an even greater variety, ranging from the more realistic (shorter, flesh-colored, featuring add-ons such as testicles or simulated veins or pubic hair) to the outlandish and bizarre (larger designs in bright colors with unique textures and shapes based on fictional characters, animals or supernatural creatures).

Some dildos specifically designed for strap-on use will feature add-ons designed to bring pleasure to the wearer as well as the one being pegged, such as vibration, a clitoral stimulator or even a second head (called a "double-headed dildo") which allows for simultaneous penetration.

If you purchase your dildo separately from your harness, you should make sure that its dimensions are compatible with the harness's opening or mount.

If a dildo is too large, you will usually need to buy a larger harness, but dildos which are too small, too unsteady or oddly shaped can sometimes be made to fit standard harnesses using an adjustment tool called an "O-ring," which our guide to dildo fitting discusses in more detail.

In general, we recommend novice peggers start out by picking out a harness and dildo combination which is sturdy, comfortable and easy to use.

We recognize that it can be easy to get overwhelmed by some of the more extreme dildos and complex harnesses, especially those which require large amounts of adjustment in order to fit properly.

Starting simple will help you and your partner get a feel for the general pegging process and allow the wearer to become more comfortable with the feel of the harness, which may be strange and slightly bizarre (but should NOT be uncomfortable or painful) at first.

We also recommend starting with a smaller, thinner dildo, especially if you or your partner is going to be pegged anally and has not had a lot of prior experience with anal penetration.

A dildo which is specifically designed to target the prostate may also be a good idea, as it can often "find" the prostate without the pegger having to constantly adjust the angle and position of their thrust.

Once the two of you have both become more comfortable with pegging in general and with your roles in the process, feel free to expand your collection of strap-on dildos and harnesses - it is our humble opinion that you can absolutely never have too many!

​Pegging Requires Preparation

There's no way to sugar-coat this: pegging is an act which requires preparation on the part of both (or all) involved participants.

It's definitely not something that you can simply sit down and do for the first time without spending some time beforehand getting ready.

First and foremost, as with everything you and your partner add to the bedroom - but especially anything typically considered to be within the realm of "kink" - the two of you need to talk about it.

Pegging should never be attempted without the explicit consent of both parties, and should be brought up and discussed in a rational manner outside of the bedroom before being tried out inside it.

In fact, we consider this conversation so important that we wrote an entire guide dedicated to the best ways of having it - check out "How To Bring Up Pegging With Your Partner" found right over here.

Once the necessary conversations have happened, research has been done and you're both on the same page, of course, it's time to pick out your strap-on!

It can seem like a daunting task thanks to the sheer number of styles and models available for purchase. Luckily, we've got a fantastic resource available to help you in the form of our extensive Product Catalog, which is filled to the brim with harnesses and dildos in every shape, size and style that you could possibly imagine!

Head right on over here to pick out something sexy, sturdy and comfortable which will truly make your first experience pegging a night - or perhaps an entire day, or even several nights - to remember.

You might think that as soon as the strap-on arrives, you and your partner will be ready to get down to business and can immediately jump into bed and start off with an intense pegging session.

Unfortunately, we recommend you put on the brakes just a little bit, especially if one or both of you is new to pegging or does not have a lot of experience with anal penetration (if that is how you plan to use your strap-on).

Don't worry, just be patient a little longer - you WILL get there, I promise!

But going into your first session properly prepared will make it much more likely that you will both find it an enjoyable experience that you are eager to repeat as soon as possible, rather than a disappointing failed experiment which will never find its way into your bedroom schedule again.

​Preparation for "Tops"

Of course, first of all, the person who will be wearing the strap-on during pegging should try it on to make sure that everything fits properly.

This should be done outside of the bedroom, when you or your partner is in a calm state of mind and can truly take the necessary time to focus on the fit and feel of your new harness.

Make sure that any straps can be properly adjusted and that all fasteners are secure. Ask yourself important questions - does this feel too tight? Too loose? Is the dildo sturdy in its hole or mount, or does it feel like it's going to slip out?

And don't just stand there with the harness on either - make sure to move and walk around to check that nothing is rubbing against you where it shouldn't be and that everything will hold together during the act.

We especially recommend practicing some more "athletic" or "energetic" moves - for example, try a few stretches or jumping jacks, or even mimic the standard movements of penetrative sex by thrusting or rolling your hips around to ensure that the dildo stays in place.

While a harness might feel a bit odd at first, and it's not unusual to need a little time to get used to the feeling of wearing one, it should NEVER be uncomfortable or painful.

Whether you're still trying things on in your bedroom or mid-pegging session with your partner, if something starts to hurt, STOP, take a break, and re-adjust things as needed.

This includes feelings of chafing or rubbing - this can be a sign that the harness is either too tight or too loose, and can result in blistering, breaking out or damaging the skin if allowed to continue.

​Preparation for "Bottoms"

Alright, so we've talked about the preparation which the person wearing the harness will need to do.

But what about the one on the other "end" of things - the person who is going to be experiencing a dildo gloriously thrusting in and out of one - or all - of their body's holes?

There are preparation tactics for the partner who will be taking the "bottom" role which are just as important and necessary as those for whoever is going to be on "top".

One of the most common arguments which unfortunately gets frequently brought up by opponents of pegging is that "it's dirty".

Pegging, along with any number of other sexual activities which involve the anus (including but not limited to anal fingering, rimming or anal licking, or the using of butt plugs or hooks in the bedroom) are commonly mis-characterized as being "unclean" because of the association between the ass and the production of fecal matter.

However, do not fear - we are here to reassure you that, with proper preparation, pegging is not any "dirtier" than any other sex act, kinky or otherwise. If everything has been properly cleaned, pegging does not come with any associated health or sanitation risks, and fecal matter will most likely not even make an appearance in the bedroom.

First and foremost, though, it's important to understand that yes, the anus is the part of our anatomy which produces and expels poop.

It CAN be dirty. It CAN smell gross.

Which is why it's crucial for anyone who wishes to be pegged anally - regardless of biological sex or sexual orientation - to thoroughly clean things out well in advance of getting started in the bedroom.

If you're not exactly sure how to go about this, here are some of our personal favorite helpful tips:

  • Make sure that your bowel movements have been regular and that you have gone recently. If you are experiencing any irregularities, including either constipation or diarrhea, ​postpone the pegging session until you are feeling more like your normal self.

  • Clean your anus area thoroughly using soap and water. You can do this with a washcloth in the shower or via an add-on to your toilet called a "bidet" which washes the lower area with warm water after you have finished going to the bathroom.
  • If you want to make absolutely certain that "shit won't happen" - aka no accident will occur - during pegging, you can flush out your lower colon with an over the counter douche or enema.

    These can typically be purchased at most supermarkets or pharmacies. Keep in mind that their results will vary depending on factors such as age and body type, and it may take several hours to see any effect - do these preparations well in advance of your pegging session, not right before.

  • Take extra care in regards to your diet for a few days leading up to your planned pegging activities. Make sure to eat healthy foods with lots of fiber to keep your bowel movements as regular as possible. Avoid extremely oily, fatty or spicy foods or anything that has caused you to become irregular in the past.

Other than cleanliness, the other sort of preparation which you should focus on before being pegged is, well, making sure that your anus is ready to accept the dildo that you and your partner have chosen.

If you are no stranger to anal penetration, then this step may not be much of a concern to you - but, if you are a novice when it comes to these types of sex acts, we find that adequately preparing can help you be more calm and relaxed, both mentally and physically, when the big day arrives.

Simply put, the best way to accustom your asshole to penetration is through practice.

Start small - with fingers, either yours or your partner's, although we do recommend starting with your own if you are completely new to this.

Get to know yourself, learning what feels good and what is comfortable or uncomfortable.

As we said before when discussing trying on harnesses - if you feel pain, STOP, take a break, and let yourself "reset".

Anal penetration can feel a bit odd at first - many first-timers describe it as a feeling of "unusual fullness" unlike anything which they have experienced before - but it should NOT be painful unless you specifically want it to be.

When it comes to preparing your anus, we find the most helpful way to go about it is through slow, gradual stretching.

Start by inserting one finger up to the first knuckle, then go in as far as the second if you are comfortable.

Move the finger around gently inside yourself, giving yourself as much time as you need to get accustomed to the feeling.

When and only when you are ready, add a second finger and gradually move them back and forth in a scissoring motion.

Typically, if you are using a small, thin dildo suited to first time anal penetration, two fingers will provide a sufficient amount of stretching to leave you prepared, although some fans of intensity will find that they prefer three or even more fingers to give an extra-intense extra-delicious stretch.

​Don't Forget The Lube!

As with any sexual activity in which the anus is going to be playing a primary role, we highly recommend that you use lubricant - and plenty of it!

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not provide any natural lubricant of its own, meaning that you will have to turn to man-made alternatives to ensure that the dildo sliding and thrusting inside you will provide the greatest possible amount of pleasure - and no pain whatsoever.

Always, always ALWAYS use proper, store-bought lubricant - this is probably our number one tip when it comes to getting kinky with your partner or partners.

You might think that you're saving yourself both time and money by using some "alternative" you saw in porn or read about in a romance novel - such as olive oil, soap, shampoo, shortening or saliva - but trust us.

It will not feel as good - sticky and smelly rather than smooth and sensual - and, most importantly, it will not provide you with the necessary protection against pain or injury.

When it comes to store-bought lubes, though, what type you choose will generally be a matter of personal preferences.

Water-based, oil-based and silicone-based sexual lubricants all have their own unique qualities, including both advantages and drawbacks.

If you're not sure which you prefer, there's no harm in buying several different types and trying them all out - just like with dildos and harnesses, there's no need to limit yourself to just one favorite!

In general, though, we find that many people prefer thicker silicone-based lubes for anal penetration because of the complete lack of natural fluids in that area of the body.

HOWEVER, there is one important factor which you should keep in mind when choosing both your toy and your lube. Sex toys made from silicone, including dildos, are NOT compatible and should NEVER be used together with silicone-based lubricants.

The silicone ingredients in the lubricating fluid will quickly cause the material of the toy to break down, resulting in a rapid degradation of quality and a much shorter lifespan than a high-quality dildo would otherwise experience.

If you are planning on utilizing silicone-based lube during your pegging session, you should first ensure that any toys you will be using have absolutely zero silicone content.

Don't Forget To Set The Mood

This is also just generally good advice which you can rely on each and every time you try something new in the bedroom.

Treat it as the special occasion it is. Give it the time and space it deserves to become an erotic, intimate, sensual experience rather than something which is rushed through simply so you can say you've tried it.

Allow each new piece of sexual exploration to be a new chance to connect with your partner - perhaps even to fall in love with them all over again.

Pegging can seem a bit nerve wracking at first, even if you've done plenty of research and taken the time to educate yourself before actually getting down to it in the bedroom.

It can be something big, scary and new - but it also doesn't have to be. Take it slow, take time to get into the mood, and, before you know it, all of that nervousness will just disappear as you lose yourself in the feelings of pure pleasure and ecstasy.

First, set the mood in whatever way the two (or more!) of you best prefer.

Get out your favorite candles, your favorite perfumes, colognes or incenses, the whole nine yards - don't skimp on creating an erotic atmosphere of exploration in your bedroom.

Dress up for each other - although remember that the person wearing the strap-on harness should put it on well in advance of "getting down to business," to avoid ruining this mood you've so carefully crafted, so they should choose clothing which can be worn together with their harness or, alternately, forgo clothing altogether.

We will pretty much always recommend foreplay as something which should be done before trying out something new in the bedroom.

That recommendation ESPECIALLY applies to pegging, as there is a chance that the partner being penetrated will not have a lot of experience with this and will need some time to relax and calm down before accepting the dildo into their body.

Of course, it's hard for us to give specific advice in this area, as each couple's interests and needs in the area of foreplay will be different, but we do have one piece of wisdom to share with you:

When engaging in pre-pegging foreplay, don't immediately head for the ass.

Start by gently stroking, teasing and exciting your partner in ways that you know they enjoy. Give extra attention to sensitive spots outside the anus and genital area - for example the neck, chest, nipples or thighs.

Establish this as a sensual experience which will provide pleasure for both of you - this will help to set a positive mood that, if properly maintained, will last throughout the rest of the night.

In addition, your partner might find penetration easier and less stressful if he is aroused before you begin to peg him.

Being at least already somewhat hard will allow him to focus on the pleasure rather than the potentially uncomfortable feeling of being stretched and penetrated.

Therefore, many couples prefer to engage in pre-penetration activities including but not limited to manual stimulation ("hand jobs") and oral stimulation ("blow jobs").

If you're feeling a little more adventurous, you can even try giving your partner's asshole a thorough licking before introducing it to your dildo!

Lastly, foreplay also allows you to set the mood by paying specific attention to the strap-on and acknowledging the role that it will be playing in the evening's activities.

Some pegging fans find that it is easier to get into a mood to dominate their partner sexually if they engage in foreplay activities which are specifically focused around the strap-on and its attached dildo - especially those which mimic sexual acts which are usually performed on a penis made from flesh and blood.

For example, you can have your partner rub the dildo up and down with his hand or use his mouth to perform oral sex on it. Further create an atmosphere of affirmation and empowerment by referring to the strap-on not as "the toy" or "the dildo" but as "my/your/her cock" throughout the act.

Until you and your partner become more experienced with the pegging process, it is recommended to prepare his asshole for penetration - yes, even if he has already done some preparation of his own beforehand.

Even if it's only briefly, we strongly suggest inserting your fingers first and giving him some time to get accustomed to the feeling before going for full penetration.

Remember that communication is key - always ask him how he's feeling and if everything is okay, and stop and take a break if he says that he is experiencing any pain or discomfort.

Once foreplay has been completed to both of your satisfaction, it's time to move on to the main event!

That, of course, gives rise to yet another question - what position should be used to ensure that both you and your partner get as much pleasure as possible out of your pegging session?

​Choosing A Position

Fortunately, pegging is an extremely versatile act.

What do we mean by this? Well, it can be satisfactorily and pleasurably done in a wide range of different sexual positions.

There is no "one true pegging position," no "only" way that


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